A Thanksgiving Pep Talk

Good morning. You taking care of yourself? Getting some “me” time? I don’t write much about feelings, generally, but this is a day that can be thick with them: judgy siblings; over-served cousins; ungrateful offspring; that silent stranger who arrived with your aunt and who might be her boyfriend, it’s hard to say.

Here’s what to know: Every little thing is going to be all right. You’re going to serve the best meal that you can under the circumstances, and it’s going to be delicious and well received. You are not going to change anyone’s mind or behavior today, and that’s all right, too. Put an ashtray out on the porch for Uncle Bertie. Change is not what today is about.

Today is about giving thanks. Today is about practicing radical empathy. Today is about acceptance of things as they are, not as you wish them to be. Just do your best! Make a negroni if you need to chill out. Don’t forget to breathe. And I bet it’s a fantastic day. (Here’s a collection of The Times’s best Thanksgiving cocktail recipes.)

If you’re in need of cooking assistance, we’ve got you covered: our ultimate guide to cooking the feast; the last-minute recipes you need when you’ve forgotten, say, to make a gluten-free option for that kid home from college; a fantastic video teaching you how to carve and plate your turkey.